When planning their wedding day, Zach and Robyn knew that they wanted to create an experience with reflected their relationship. They actively elected conventional elements very judiciously, “We chose things not just for ceremony, or convention, but because it was what we wanted or felt reflected our relationship,” Robyn explained.
They decided to have a private ceremony in a secluded part of Central Park, New York, in the north woods. “It rained all day,” said Robyn, “and the sun came out about an hour before we were supposed to arrive. So, not only did we get to enjoy the ceremony as planned, the park was empty. The experience was really special and joyful.”
With a budget of $3,500, they knew they wanted to invest in quality photos and artful photographers in order to have a special memento of the experience. They cut costs dramatically by eschewing a traditional reception with lots of guests to entertain. Robyn made her own flower crown, bouquet and Zach’s boutonniere, and designed sleeves for her Ghost dress to make it more in-keeping with her style and something she felt comfortable in.
“I had a horrible experience in bridal salons where I felt the sales staff were openly shaming my body shape and size,” said Robyn. “It was probably the worst thing about planning our wedding to be honest. Shopping online for a dress was a necessity because this was such a disappointing and hurtful experience. But it also meant I could find something in my price range more easily so that was a bonus.”
“What shocked us most about planning our wedding day was that not only does everyone have their own idea of what a wedding is and assumptions about why you’re doing it, but that you discover you have your own ideas that may or may not feel right once planning is underway. Staying connected to what truly reflects you and your partner is a moment to moment activity. Be patient with yourself and compassionate to others around you who are caught up in the fantasy of what having a wedding is about. Know that they’ll put a lot of pressure on you, and you can gently, yet assertively, shrug that off.”
