Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful times in most people’s lives. All that expectation, all those people to please, all that money being spent, wanting to make everything just perfect… It’s no wonder that there are whole reality shows about brides flipping the hell out!

While they might be seriously entertaining to watch from the outside, if you’re not careful it can be all to easy too start to exhibit some of those trademark bridezilla tenancies yourself. Here are some things to think about to help prevent you turning into a terrifying monster,

Realise that people aren’t out to hurt you

If people make snarky comments about something to do with your wedding, please remember that they are not criticising YOU as a person! It can be all to easy to take things to heart when it comes to weddings, especially if you feel you’ve put your all into something. People on the outside don’t always realise this, or know how personal the choices you’re making are.

So if someone pulls a face at the fact your not wearing white, that you’re serving fish n chips instead of a fancy dinner or that you’ve booked an Elvis impersonator as your officiant just shrug it off and realise that although it might not be to their taste, THAT DOESN’T MATTER. It’s your wedding and the fact that they might not pick something doesn’t mean it’s not the right choice for you. Don’t take these things to heart.

Think about other people’s feelings

However it can be VERY EASY to get wrapped up in the “Its my day and what I say goes” mentality. Do not turn into a brat. People want to be there for you but it also doesn’t mean that they need to be at your beck and call 24/7 or that they are your punching bag.

Your friends and family want to celebrate with you (and might have travelled a lot way to do so) so be gracious and kind at all times. Especially think about your parents’ feelings. Remember they have probably been looking forward to this moment since the day you were born so don’t turn your nose up too high at their opinions. Let them down gently if you don’t agree with something they’ve suggested.

Don’t fuss over insignificant things

Listen to me: On the day, no-one will notice if the flowers wilt a little, if the napkins aren’t the right shade of white, if the ribbons on the bouquets are different to the ribbons on the buttonholes, or if the cake is a little lopsided. Those little extra personal details are supposed to be just that – little EXTRA details. They are not the heart and soul of the wedding.

If you had none of that extra ‘stuff’ it would still be a wedding. So take them with a pinch of salt. Enjoy the crafting and projects but don’t let them consume you.

Say thank you

Lots of people will have helped you pull this event together so don’t forget to show your gratitude. Especially think about thanking your parents, your bridal party, the people playing music or doing readings, and those that have helped you with the set up or DIY… Whether that’s as small as mentioning them in a speech, giving them a handwritten thank you note or sending them a bunch of flowers, people will really, really appreciate it.

Remember, it’s a party!

This is supposed to be fun. If it’s not you might as well skip off to the registry office, sign the papers and be done with it! Don’t forget that in times of stress. No-one is forcing you to plan this wedding.

Once the wedding day rolls round, enjoy yourself! You’ve done all you can and once the ceremony is over it’s time to kick back and have a good time with everyone you love! I would also always encourage people to look into hiring a day-of coordinator who can manage the logistics of the day so you can just focus on having an amazing time.

Your wedding day is not a barometer of your marriage

When it comes down to it, as important as this day is, IT IS JUST ONE DAY. Having a fantastically perfect wedding (little secret – no wedding goes off completely without a hitch!) does not have any indication of how your marriage will be. Sure, it’s an big milestone, but keeping your relationship, aka the reason for the wedding, at the forefront of your mind will help elevate those bridezilla moments!

Make sure you check in with your beau throughout the planning. It can be a super stressful time, but don’t ever take things out on them. You are in this together so I’d encourage you to keep up those date nights, and have plenty days when you don’t talk about the wedding!

Getting married is an wonderful thing, so don’t let the planning and the stress consume you along the way. The relationship always need to come first, and remember, the way you handle stress and adversity together will tell you a lot about how successful your marriage is going to be.