Even after working in the wedding industry for over fifteen years, I never truly considered myself a feminist until I started planning my own wedding. And now? I’m shouting it from the rooftops. I’m a proud, modern feminist, and I’m bringing that energy into my own big day.

For me, feminism is about equality. It’s about creating a world where men and women have the same opportunities, rights, and respect in all aspects of life, including weddings. The wedding industry, for all its beauty and magic, is steeped in tradition. Some of those traditions are wonderful, but many are relics of a time when women had little to no say in their own futures. That’s why, as I plan my wedding, I’m being intentional about smashing the outdated, patriarchal norms while still honouring the traditions that truly resonate with us as a couple.

Reclaiming Tradition, Redefining Roles

One of the first things I decided on was finding a female vicar. Weddings, particularly religious ceremonies, have long been led by male voices, and I see it all the time, but I wanted a woman to stand at the altar with us, leading our ceremony and blessing our marriage. I’m also searching for a female organist and as many female suppliers as possible because women deserve to be celebrated in all roles, not just the ones traditionally assigned to us.

I’ve realised how important it is to highlight and support women in roles that have historically been male-dominated. Choosing female vendors isn’t just about personal preference; it’s about making a statement that women belong in every space, including those we may not typically associate with them. It’s about visibility and creating opportunities for future generations of women to step into these positions without hesitation or barriers. We have some incredible suppliers for the wedding both male and female, so this certainly isn’t leaving anyone out but where possible my focus is on the brilliant female creativity.

Not Being ‘Given Away’ & Ditching Obedience

The idea of being ‘given away’ doesn’t sit right with me, it feels antiquated. I’m not an object to be transferred from one man to another. My partner and I will be meeting at the altar as equals, choosing to commit to each other on our own terms. And you can bet there won’t be any promises of ‘obeying’ in our vows. Love, partnership, and respect should be the foundation of marriage, not outdated expectations of submission.

I understand that for some, the tradition of being given away is meaningful, representing the love and support of their family. But instead, I want to walk down the aisle arm in arm with my dad at my side.

Women’s Voices Need to Be Heard

Think about a traditional wedding reception: The groom, the father of the bride, and the best man all make speeches. The bride? Generally, silent. It’s 2025, and that’s not good enough. Professionally I absolutely love when brides, maids of honour and mum’s speak. Women’s voices belong in every part of the wedding day, so I’ll be giving a speech, as will other important women in my life. We have our own stories to tell, and we deserve a podium to stand on as much as a man does.

This is one of the most frustrating wedding traditions to me, the idea that only men should be speaking at one of the biggest moments of my life. Why is the bride’s voice so often missing from her own wedding? I want to see more women stepping up, taking the microphone, and celebrating their love and relationships in their own words.

Keeping My Name

Another wedding expectation I’m challenging and possibly the most challenging discussions we have had? The assumption that I’ll take my partner’s last name and that it is expected from the moment you get engaged! My name is part of my identity, my history, and my personal brand. Giving it up feels like erasing a part of myself and my family. I fully believe it should be just as acceptable for men to take their partner’s last name, double barrel or for couples to choose a completely new name together or just to choose whoever has the cooler last name! Marriage is about unity and the decision over your last name is a decision that belongs to the couple and not others’ opinions or traditions.

For me, my surname is more than just a name, it’s a connection to my family, my career, and everything I’ve built. While I respect anyone’s choice to change their name, I refuse to feel like I have to.

Celebrating Women in a Female-Dominated Industry

Supporting women, uplifting their work, and ensuring they are recognised in a space that thrives because of them is a vital part of my wedding journey. And I’m proud to work with some fabulous team members and incredible suppliers at our wedding venue, The Post Barn, this is a space to come together, innovate, and most importantly, be inspired.

This is something I’ve come to appreciate more and more, how many incredible, hardworking women are the backbone of the wedding industry. I want my wedding to be a celebration of their talent, dedication and creativity.

Having the Choice

At the end of the day, this is about choice. I’m not rejecting tradition for the sake of it, I’m redefining it in a way that aligns with my values. For those who want to be given away, take their partner’s name, or follow traditional customs, then I love and support them for it! The key is making sure these choices are made freely, without pressure or outdated expectations dictating what a wedding ‘should’ be.

Weddings should be about love, partnership, and celebration. For me, that means honouring the women who have paved the way, championing those still fighting for equality, and making sure my wedding reflects who I truly am a proud, modern feminist who’s ready to say ‘I do’ on my own terms.

As I continue planning, I hope to inspire others to think critically about the traditions they’re following. Are they meaningful to you? Or are they just something you feel expected to do? Your wedding is your moment. Make it your own. Because at the end of the day, love should be about equality and that’s exactly the kind of marriage I’m stepping into.

About the Author

Daisy Bradley is Weddings & Events Director at The Post Barn in Berkshire, wanderluster, foodie and wedding enthusiast. When she’s not obsessing over all things weddings or galivanting around the globe she lives in Hampshire with her husband-to-be and their Border Terrier, Hendrix. You can find her on Instagram @daisyboobradley.