We really want to do our own thing for our wedding and not follow pointless traditions. However, we have some very conservative relatives who will expect certain elements. How do we tread that fine line between doing our wedding our way and not alienating everyone we love?
Kudos to you for wanting to make your wedding your own, while also respecting your more conservative relatives. My advice would be to make a list, or ask them which traditional elements they genuinely care about, then narrow down from there to find one or two that you’re OK with including.
Remember, compromise is key. You don’t have to say yes to every tradition just because someone else thinks you should include it. If the idea of tossing a wedding bouquet or doing very traditional vows gives you the “ick,” then toss it in what I like to call the “fuck it” bucket! You don’t need to do it.
There may also be a way to make some traditions feel a bit more you. Maybe you’re not thrilled about cutting the cake or wearing a veil, but the idea of them doesn’t give you hives… Try to make them your own by finding a cool cake-cutting set that will be a lasting keepsake, or a veil that feels like you and ties in with your vibe.
We are getting married in a registry office and have ZERO budget for a big reception. How can we tell our guests that we just want to go to a local pub for drinks and food if people wish to eat, but that they need to pay for themselves? I feel like there’s this big expectation for a fancy reception where everyone’s meal is paid for, with cake and music and dancing, but it’s just not going to happen. How can we word it politely without upsetting too many people?
I absolutely love this idea! Here’s a suggestion for wording it:
“We’re trading the traditional reception for something more relaxed and us – drinks and good times at [Pub Name]! If you’re hungry, food will be available to order, but we’re going with a pay-your-own-way vibe to keep things simple. We can’t wait to raise a glass with you and celebrate together!”
You may still have someone feel a bit miffed, but remember, that’s their issue, not yours. Stay true to what you want!
There’s so much we want to do for our wedding – every time I see a new idea on social media or find a new DIY project, I’m like, “OMG, I MUST HAVE THIS!” But it’s overwhelming, and I know I can’t have, and do, everything. How do we decide what to keep and what to ditch? Choosing one wedding aesthetic seems impossible!
It’s so easy to get overwhelmed when there are so many choices! When choosing your aesthetic, I recommend narrowing your vibe to three descriptive words, like “elegant, whimsical, royal” or “boho, ’70s glam rock, colourful.” From there, you can create a mood board and start seeing what will and won’t work together.
If something has special meaning to you and your partner, consider keeping it. But if you’re looking to include it just because it’s trendy or “cool,” it might be best to skip it. You can also incorporate ideas that don’t quite fit the wedding aesthetic into other celebrations, like your engagement party or hen do. Focus on adding elements that truly hold meaning for your day. And don’t forget you have a budget! All those little extras can really add up.
About the Author
Leah is the host behind the Bridechilla podcast, a show dedicated to empowering couples in their wedding planning journey. With nearly two decades of experience in media and entertainment, Leah has produced and hosted shows including Weddings Unveiled with Leah and Tales from Behind the Veil. Known for her passion for storytelling and her ability to connect with diverse audiences, Leah thrives on uncovering the unique stories of each guest she encounters. When she’s not making podcasts, you might find her frolicking around Cleveland.
This article originally appeared in issue 60 of Rock n Roll Bride magazine. You can purchase the latest copy here, or why not subscribe to never miss an issue?