I always love writing for Rock n Roll Bride in January. I love picturing all the new readers, who got engaged over the holidays, giddily unwrapping their first issue and settling down with a hot chocolate by the fire. I love thinking about some of our more seasoned readers, who can now start saying that their wedding is “this year” instead of “next year” … (Eeee! So exciting!) And I love having a chance to remind every Rock n Roll Bride reader out there exactly WHY they have chosen this wonderful magazine as their sparkly little helper on their wedding-planning journey.

When it comes to planning your wedding, a new year can often bring about a sense of renewal, refreshment and looking ahead… but I want to begin by looking back a couple of months, to last year’s incredible Rock n Roll Bride Live, at Hackney Town Hall.

What a cornucopia of creativity it was! I had so much fun walking around the many stalls, ooh-ing and ah-ing over the fabulous concepts and collections. It really felt like a festival of joy; a place where everyone was celebrating themselves and their dream for their wedding day. Side note: do make sure you get a ticket the moment they become available for the next live event! Believe me… you won’t regret it.

While I was wandering through the wonderland, I stopped and chatted with a whole bunch of you. After four years of writing my column, I can’t tell you how magical it was to meet so many of you. I had a ball. And I asked everyone I stopped a few questions, starting with… “Why Rock n Roll Bride?”

The lovely Claudia and Lucy said they adored the “Alternative” and the “Different”. They said they were over the cookie-cutter notion of a big white wedding. They mentioned the colour and excitement of Rock n Roll Bride… and the refusal to promote weight loss in order to be the “perfect bride”.

The fabulous Abi and Hannah said they loved the colour, the rejection of heteronormative gender roles and the breaking of tradition. They liked the idea that everybody could just be themselves on their big day, instead of trying to fit into the traditional shape of what people think of as a “proper” wedding.

Every supplier I asked said that, like Rock n Roll Bride, they aimed to connect with those looking for something personal and different, too. Amp Cats said they didn’t want to play the same songs as everyone else. Lucy and Rachel at Different Day Studio said that the joy and colour of Rock n Roll Bride completely aligned with their brand. Bex the Celebrant said she loved the idea that “you really can do whatever the hell you want to for your wedding”.

And, when I asked everybody that I chatted with the last question… “Would you consider yourself a Rule Breaker?” … hand on heart, every single person gave me basically the same answer. A quick pause to consider, a slightly cheeky or bashful smile, and then: “Yes… but only the rules that don’t actually matter.”

To me, that’s the real answer to the question: “Why Rock n Roll Bride?” We are all good, nice, empathetic individuals, who perhaps struggled to see ourselves fitting into the prescribed “norm” of the wedding world. We are people with big, often sensitive hearts, who would never choose to hurt anybody else, or offend anybody else, or make anyone else feel othered. We are people who actively care about others, who think about bigger pictures, who maybe never really fit the “rules” of who we ought to be, or how we ought to live our lives.

Perhaps we are the misfits. The outsiders. Or maybe we are relatively run-of-the-mill people who just want to do things a bit differently for our weddings. We are all people, from what I can gather, who would never break a rule that was there for good reason…

So… “Why Rock n Roll Bride?” Because we have all realised that the so-called “rules” around weddings… don’t actually matter at all. And we are brave enough to break those “rules” in order to celebrate our love and ourselves exactly how we want to.

None of us are bad or selfish or uncaring. We are rule breakers. We are rebels. We are part of a revolution. And yes, it is bold, and brave and beautiful… but it is not designed to belittle or bully anybody at all. We are not smirking at the concept of the traditional wedding. We are not out to look down on anyone whose dream it is to keep with tradition and follow the rules. You do you, hun… we hope you love your day! We just hope you’ll respect our choices too!

No one gets hurt when we decide we don’t want the word “obey” in our vows. No one gets hurt by the fact that two happy men are celebrating their sequin circus of a wedding day. No one gets hurt by the gorgeous rainbow tie-dye sequin dress you’ve chosen to wear, or the glitter in your beard, or the football match ticket-style invitation that came through their letter box (a favourite moment of mine from the live event). Someone might choose to be offended by it, but that’s on them. That’s their fault. It’s got nothing to do with you.

“Why Rock n Roll Bride?” Because when it comes to planning a Rock n Roll wedding… there are simply no rules to break. You two beautiful consenting adults can do whatever you want! And it’s our job to help you turn that dream day into a reality.

“Why Rock n Roll Bride?” Because you get to be you. End of.

So, on behalf of Rock n Roll Bride magazine, let me take this opportunity, at the start of this new year, to renew our vow to you… we promise to love, accept and support you in your wedding-planning journey… we promise to celebrate your love and welcome your own unique approach to your big day with open arms and gigantic grins… and we solemnly swear to help you break every single wedding “rule” that doesn’t align with your dream day along the way!

This article originally appeared in issue 60 of Rock n Roll Bride magazine. You can purchase the latest copy here, or why not subscribe to never miss an issue?