Scrolling through a sea of lookalike weddings or feeling overwhelmed by watching too many TikToks about the latest ‘must-have trend’ is very normal. But, just how do you ensure your wedding feels like YOU and isn’t just a culmination of the 500 videos you watched this week?

When it comes to wedding planning, many of us who choose an alternative wedding started by looking at traditional bridal magazines, perfectly curated Instagram accounts, and Pinterest, only to quickly feel uninspired or disillusioned.

Couples are spending a lot of time on social media, causing them to believe it’s normal to have six outfit changes for the perfect transition video or epic, enormous floral displays lining the aisle in their outdoor Italian ceremony… Now, I hate to break it to you, but those flowers probably cost £100,000 and that 30 second transition video probably wasn’t filmed on their actual wedding day. It took three hours to film and edit it.

But here’s the truth – a lot of what you see online are styled shoots with models, not real weddings. They are designed to show you ideas of what’s possible, and for suppliers to create the sort of things they want real clients to book them for. They are not always realistic for an actual wedding day with a limited timeline, a couple who are uncomfortable being photographed or an average budget.

Or maybe it is a real couple getting married, but it’s some influencer who shot all their ‘wedding content’ over multiple content creation days, edited together to look like it all happened on the one. Trust me when I say, a wedding day goes by in a flash and attempting to shoot six transition videos, a ‘get ready with me’, and an outfit reveal will only be possible if you also invest in a DeLorean or Bernard’s Watch. So have big ideas, yes, but let’s also be realistic.

There is an unbelievable list of options for everything for weddings these days, which is awesome – anything goes – but it can also be overwhelming AF. I always recommend that couples start by looking inwards before they go wild on Pinterest.

What do you like and love? What colours, what styles? What are your favourite things to do and your everyday inspirations? What does your home look like? What do you wear? Where do you feel your best?

Personalising your day is all about bringing the things you love in everyday life into your wedding. If you love travelling, how about having a vintage map as the table plan and globes as part of the centrepieces? If you’re really into comics, why not use your favourites as the table names and markers? Big music fans? The playlist is going to be super important to you, or why not have a full-on festival-themed wedding? You get the idea.

Once you’ve got these key ideas, THEN it is a good idea to hit Pinterest, TikTok and Rock n Roll Bride magazine (duh!) to see how to bring them to life. I can guarantee someone’s done something similar before and their ideas may spark something new for you. But if you go into it already with the bare bones of the idea, you’ll avoid being overwhelmed, changing your theme 67 times or losing the ability to make decisions.

Changing your mind and ideas is perfectly OK (and normal) throughout your wedding planning, but it’s a fine line between little tweaks and adding a few extra ideas you didn’t think of yourself to fully losing sight of anything and everything that makes you and your wedding unique. Check in with yourself regularly and ask if you’re doing something because it ACTUALLY feels like you, or because some chick with a million TikTok followers said it was the new cool thing for weddings this year.

This article originally appeared in issue 58 of Rock n Roll Bride magazine. You can purchase the latest copy here, or why not subscribe to never miss an issue?