The wedding boudoir photo shoot is in vogue again—and what a fantastic trend! It encourages people to step into their most sensual selves, adorned with lingerie, and take control of their sexiness in celebration of entering a new era of their lives. However, the idea of posing in my underwear in front of a camera and a stranger (the photographer) would have filled me with dread only a few years ago.

I am a large person, and I have been big my whole life. I am very aware of the stereotypes my body size can invoke in others. I have tried a very high percentage of the diets available on the market and battled eating disorders. I had been conditioned to believe that my body was something that desperately needed to be fixed and was definitely never, ever encouraged to think it was beautiful or sexy. The lack of representation of bodies like mine in the media in a positive light did not help.

Diet culture encourages a separation of mind and body. It makes you believe your body is something that needs to be fixed (and something you will pay a lot of money to fix). This is a very lucrative industry, after all! Combine this baseline diet talk with the insane pressure that you should lose weight for your wedding to be your “best self” (read: thinnest self), and it is a recipe for self-hate and disordered eating. It is dangerous. When we first got engaged, I had people casually ask if I was planning on losing weight for the wedding, as casually as they asked what colour bridesmaid dresses I was considering. It is very dehumanising to be reduced to your size and viewed as not “very bridal” if you aren’t pursuing weight loss.

In the early days of wedding planning, I was still in a very negative place with my self-worth, body image, and relationship with food. I fully believed I had to lose weight to be the bride I had envisioned in my head. But I was also at rock bottom mentally. The two paths I was trying to walk—better mental health and weight loss—were pulling me in opposite directions. I sought help for my eating disorder but resisted at first when my therapist advised I had to let go of dieting. I remember saying I shouldn’t start therapy now as my priority was to lose weight before the wedding. My therapist asked why this time would be any different from my previous attempts and ultimately posed the question: What was more important to me—pursuing thinness at the expense of my mental and physical health, or working on my health so I could step into my marriage with a better relationship with food and myself? When she put it that way, it was a no-brainer.

I started the journey to recovery, which included learning to respect my body and be grateful every day for all it enables me to do. At first, this conscious and proactive kindness and gratitude towards my body grew into adoration, confidence, and unconditional love. I started to see the true beauty in my body. Released from societal expectations of what I should look like, I embraced what I do look like.

My partner has always been my biggest supporter. He believed I could heal from my eating disorder and body image issues when I did not, and he helped me find recovery when I felt I had exhausted all my options. He has always thought I was the sexiest person in the world, lifting me up when my body hang-ups kept me down. He is my biggest cheerleader. Through recovery, I started to see what he saw—my exaggerated hips, my soft tummy, my luscious thighs. I began to love it too.

Two and a half years into recovery, I have transformed. I thank my past self every day for taking that chance. When contemplating a wedding gift for my new husband, the bridal boudoir photo shoot felt perfect—an opportunity to honour his influence on my self-love journey, celebrate my plus-size body through a sensual lens, and capture a snapshot in time, just before I married the love of my life. To quote Moira Rose from Schitt’s Creek: “Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now… One day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, ‘Dear God, I was a beautiful thing.’”

I chose Hannah Lunn Photography for my shoot as I’d worked with her before, knew her studio environment, and, most importantly, felt comfortable with her. If I had to find a new photographer, here’s what I would look for:

Body diversity in their portfolio: Does their website / socials show people of varying body types and shapes? I would want assurance that they are used to photographing larger bodies.
Reviews: Understand from previous clients if they were made to feel comfortable during the photo shoot and were provided guidance on posing. Most of us have never been photographed before so help is always appreciated!
Studio set-up: I have found some are quite basic with a backdrop which may be a bit intimidating if you are new to being photographed. Other studios have full bedroom sets which can be a bit more comforting and may be easier to pose with.
What’s included: Does their service offer wardrobe, make-up and book printing? Different boudoir studios offer different packages.

I contacted Hannah, and we discussed ideas for the vibe of the shoot. I searched Pinterest for inspiration and, unsurprisingly, found very little in the way of body diversity represented under “boudoir photography.” As a plus-size person, I find it often requires a bit more creativity to adapt straight-sized inspiration for plus-size measurements. It does take time and practice, but the more we do it (and share it!), the more representation there is for fellow plus-size people to be inspired by.

I had three specific looks I wanted for my boudoir shoot: Wedding White Bride, Something Blue meets Sabrina Carpenter, and Smouldering Temptress. This shoot was an opportunity to showcase different sides of my sexuality—an opportunity we often don’t get to explore and celebrate.

To build these looks, I needed to find plus-size lingerie. Some studios offer wardrobe services as part of their packages, which can be a very good option, as lingerie can be expensive. If you’re looking for plus-size sexy underwear, here are a few options:

ASOS: Great for budget-friendly and popular mainstream brands.
SKIMS: Offers a variety of lingerie and sexy pyjamas.
Thistle and Spire: Perfect for more alternative and darker styles.
Veronica Velveteen: Features independently made, fun, and gorgeous pieces.

The day of the shoot brought nerves and excitement. I had never posed in my underwear in front of a photographer before (I do it on my socials all the time but that’s in the comfort of my loft!). But Hannah put me at ease, styled the backdrops beautifully, and guided me into poses that accentuated my body and constantly checked that I was comfortable.  It was genuinely a super easy process. When I left the studio, I felt incredibly proud of myself. To really feel how far I had come. It was a very definitive milestone to hit. I have become so proud of my body that I wanted to show it off! 

When I got the photos, I was just in awe of myself. I looked fantastic but also just so happy, confident and self-assured. “This is who I am,” I thought. I couldn’t wait to show my husband! He was going to lose his mind!

The morning after our wedding, I gave my husband a velvet-bound photo book with the words “For My Husband” on the cover and a message inside: “You make me feel like the sexiest woman in the world”. I had ordered the photos by outfit, each scene getting more sexy and hot with each page turn. My new husband couldn’t believe the piece of art I had made for him to treasure for decades to come. 

As much as this was a gift for my husband, it was also a gift for myself. We live in a world where self-confidence and self-love can be seen as “ego” or “being full of yourself,” but I believe these terms are used to keep people, especially women, small. There is power in embracing who you are. For me, this shoot was about expressing and owning my sensuality. Fat people often navigate a hypocritical space—viewed either as sad and desperate virgins, or mad horn dogs who are only to be fetishised. It felt empowering to represent myself as this beautiful, glamorous and sexy woman. And it’s a confidence reassurance that hits every time I look back at those photos, which is often! 

If you’re looking for a wedding or anniversary gift, I cannot recommend this option enough. We all deserve to capture ourselves in every stage and size of life.

About Hannah Ogilvie

Hannah Ogilvie-Young is a plus size fashion content creator who loves to prove that style has no size limit over at @queenbeastsays. She is also the host of Fats on Film, a podcast exploring fat representation in film, tv and wider media.