I just got engaged and want to start looking for my dress ASAP – how soon is too soon?

Dress shopping can often be the most fun and exciting part of the wedding planning process, so I don’t blame you for wanting to dive right in! Before we even talk about the timeline, make sure first that you have a date set for your wedding, the venue booked and a budget planned out for the dress. The sweet spot for dress shopping is about 12–18 months before your wedding day.

Every designer will have different production timelines, and these can vary from three months to a full year depending on the dress! You’ll also want about two or three months for alterations to make sure your tailor has plenty of time. If your wedding is less than 12 months away, don’t worry, you can focus on designers with quicker turnaround times or look into ready-to-wear pieces.

I’d be wary of saying yes to the dress if your date is more than 18 months away. Trends can come and go within those two years between picking your gown and actually wearing it, which can lead to dress regret. My recommendation? Stick with shopping in that 12-to-18-month window for the best dress options and for peace of mind!

I’m a plus size bride and in recovery for an eating disorder, and I’m worried that shopping for a dress will trigger me. How do I know if a boutique will be a good fit and a safe space for what I need?

In a perfect world, every nearlywed would be able to walk into any boutique and be greeted by rows and rows of dresses in their size, at their price point, by stylists who know just the right thing to say… but in the real world, shopping takes a bit more preparation.

Do your research beforehand by looking at a boutique’s website or social media to get a good feel for the overall aesthetic of their collections. Usually, shops will have an FAQ section where they talk through the price range of their gowns and the available sample sizes, but if you’re not sure or know you’re looking for something specific, don’t be afraid to call them! Making sure there are plenty of samples available in your size is one of the best ways to protect yourself against potential triggers.

If you’re in ED recovery, if you’re working on your self confidence or even if you just know you are sensitive to particular comments, I’d recommend speaking with the boutique about this beforehand. If calling on the phone feels daunting, replying to a confirmation email after setting up your appointment is a great option. Remember that the vast majority of shops and stylists want to help you have a great experience with them and are very open to hearing about your needs and accommodations. There’s no shame in letting them know a bit about your history or boundaries you have. Some things to consider would be any specific language you’d like to avoid, comments about your body, not wanting to know what size you fall at or your measurements, etc. I would share this beforehand with the shop in your appointment notes, reminding your stylist of them at the start of your appointment and making sure anyone in your shopping crew is also aware.

Also, be sure that you know what you will do if these boundaries aren’t respected – will you cut the appointment short? Interrupt the comment if it starts to cross a line? Have an assigned friend to do that for you? Putting plans like this in place helps to keep you safe in what can be a triggering situation, and I’ve found that when you have that preparation and sense of safety you are able to actually enjoy yourself – even if just a little bit.

I love seeing the fun bridal trends come out of fashion weeks, but I’m worried none will be available in my size!

This most recent season debuted some of the most exciting gowns and trends I’ve seen in the last several years – I’m so glad you’re loving them too! In the past, us plus size babes who get left out of new trends when it comes to everyday fashion, have also been left behind with these new bridal trends as well.

HOWEVER, I truly believe (perhaps optimistically) that most of the 2024 and 2025 bridal trend looks we’ve seen will be available to nearlyweds of all sizes. This year at New York Bridal Fashion Week, one big trend was colour – we saw more and more designers embrace pinks, blues, purples and even bolder embroidery work. Some of my favourite colourful looks came from size-inclusive designers!

Another emerging trend was 3D floral work, whether it was one large statement floral or cascading floral pieces down the train. There’s no reason why embellishments like this should be unavailable in plus sizes. We’re also seeing the resurgence of bows, particularly as a detail in the back of the gown. Something like this is easy to add in alterations, which makes it a great trend that is accessible for everyone!

ABOUT ALYSIA

Alysia Cole is a plus size personal bridal stylist who has helped hundreds of nearlyweds find their perfect wedding outfit. Based out of Los Angeles, you can also find Alysia on TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared in issue 54 of Rock n Roll Bride magazine. You can purchase the latest edition here, or why not subscribe to never miss an issue?