If you’re reading this, the chances are you’re already part of a couple that doesn’t want a wedding that anybody’s seen before. Some parts of your vision are easier to put together than others, especially if you have strong sub-culture lifestyle choices.

But what about how you’re getting actually married? How can you make your wedding ceremony all about you? The answer is by making it exactly how you imagine it to be. You use an independent wedding celebrant coupled with a venue that goes all out to make your dreams come true, and quite simply, make it happen.

Attitudes are changing towards what a wedding ceremony looks like, and in 2024 the conventional train is leaving the station with a lot of empty seats. There shouldn’t really be ceremony ‘trends’ in my opinion, because each celebration should be precisely created for you. However, here’s some ideas for ways you could bring your true love stories and individuality to the vows and commitments part of your wedding day.

Your ceremony – but make it a game

Yes, this part of the day is where the spotlight should be on you, but if you’re playful and want to involve your guests, this works. When it comes to your ring exchange, what about playing a couple’s game of Guess Who’s got the ring? Winner gets to give their ring first. It connects everybody there, starts the party atmosphere, and is completely inclusive. What’s the Time Mr Wolf? bridesmaids/groom game down the aisle to kick things off? Fine. Drawing straws to see who does the next reading? Why not.

Look at maximalist rituals

Adding a ritual element to your ceremony creates unity like nothing else. Rituals don’t have to be religious, the best are created just for you and never repeated in the same way. I’ve been playing around with a special handfasting technique which I’ve called the wheel. Six chosen people stand around the couple hold the end of each cord ribbon to create a wheel effect, with you in the middle. This physical connection enables them to pour their energy and love into your cord, and the effect as I draw the cord away from them all at once and bind your hands together is super special. Plus, it makes beautiful photos.

Intimacy is in your control

You’re in love, and this is the biggest milestone of your relationship so far. Show it in whatever intimate way feels right to you both, and that includes in the language of your ceremony too. During your ceremony, banish the idea that you simply have to stand there. Wrap your arms around each other. Kiss whenever you want. Sit down and put your head on that shoulder. Squeeze that bum if you’re both up for that. This is your love life in ceremonial form. Don’t be fooled into thinking you shouldn’t be touching your lover as you say your vows.

Bash one out and commit with force

There’s so much you could say to each other during your ceremony that sometimes, it’s hard to find the right words. So, why not let others help you out? Ask your guests for their contributions to your commitment list, add them to your own, and fill a piñata with the colourful paper suggestions. When you burst it with your sexy ceremonial sticks, the first five commitments off the floor are the ones you make. You’ll be left with a wonderful, eclectic mix of romantic and ridiculous. You could also smash a clay pot, or make it with bingo balls.

Exchange more than rings

Yes, wedding rings are beautiful, but how about giving each other something more as part of your ceremony? I’m absolutely loving the maximalist lapel florals at the moment, which could be a gorgeous exchange, accompanied by some references to the chosen flowers and foliage for your partner, and why. However, why not an earring, a walking cane, a mixtape, or a watch? You’re giving your heart and soul, so if a ring isn’t fitting, let’s include something else instead.

Anything is possible, please, please don’t minimise your ideas to fit in the conventional ceremony box. Combine the right celebrant with the right venue and you can have exactly what you want.

About Eleanor Willock

Eleanor Willock, The Full Stop Celebrant, is an independent creator of personalised, alternative wedding ceremonies, known for being funny and romantic, in an off-beat way. She lives in Somerset but travels well.