Worried that you’re becoming a bit of a Bridezilla? Well, fuck that! Kate Forsyth of Good Day Club explains how we’re not down with that kind of BS shaming here at Rock n Roll Bride. NOPE NOT ONE LITTLE BIT.

Event planning is rather well known as a terrifically stressful profession. It routinely pops up in the top 10 most stressful occupations alongside jobs like airline pilot, emergency services and military personnel and surgeons.

So, by all means, now that you’re engaged, just take on ONE OF THE MOST stressful jobs in the world. Alongside your regular job, relationship, family commitments, being a contributing member of society, getting regular exercise, eating healthy, drinking enough water, listening to the voicemails your mum keeps leaving, flossing your teeth, getting the right birthday gift for your nephew and watering your indoor plants. By. All. Frigging. Means.

Sure, you want to have a kick-arse wedding celebration that achieves the required amount of justice for your love story. Sure, you’re a BIT of a high achieving perfectionist and you want it to be beyond amazing. Sure, you’ve spent 257 hours on Pinterest in the past month and you’ve become a wee bit obsessed with the raddest wedding ever.

But you’re also worried that you’ll end up becoming a Bridezilla, right? Too much, too picky, too obsessed. Thus, along with having a very full life as outlined above, you’ve got huge plans for an amazing wedding AND now you’ve consciously (or not) added the weight of trying not to turn into a witchy psycho asshat. Because it must be SO common right? Given how much you hear Bridezillas mentioned, mocked, laughed about, used as click-bait and punchlines. It feels inevitable.

Lucky for your good self, I’ve devised a fool proof test to find out if you’re a Bridezilla (or in danger of turning into one).

AM I A BRIDEZILLA?

Give yourself one point for each yes answer.

● Have you yelled at more than one person today?
● Have you cried, executed a flounce-off or slammed a door this week?
● Are you part human, part giant mutant murderous creature, awakened and empowered by nuclear radiation?
● Have you torn anyone limb from limb lately with your giant prehistoric sea monster paws (claws?)?
● Have you smashed a building up?
● Have you ever attempted to destroy Tokyo?
● Do you tend to grab aircraft right out of the sky and eat them?

If you’ve done ALL of these things, then YES MADAM you are a Bridezilla (and you should probably get yo’self looked over out by your local veterinarian TBH).

If you answered yes to one or two of these highly scientific questions, then I’m afraid to tell you, you’re just a person. There shall be no hilarious zany ‘remember that time I was a city-wrecking mutant sea monster while planning our wedding’ anecdotes for you to tell at parties.

REAL TALK: The whole Bridezilla thing is – well – not actually a thing, according to me and my wedding industry pals. I strongly believe it’s 100% a total bullshit term, designed by the media / the patriarchy / some jerk to demonise women who dare to be assertive and have expectations of people. Some may even say terms like this are designed to shut women up and keep them in their place. Well FUCK THAT TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET FILLED WITH RAGE AND DICK PUNCHES.

YOU, my friend, are a Rock n Roll bride who does not go in for this shit. Ask for what you want, do no harm, but take no shit. Six years in this biz and I’ve never dealt with a Bridezilla. But I’ve had tonnes of lovely lady clients say, “I’m sorry for being a Bridezilla about this” or “I don’t mean to be so picky/difficult/annoying” when politely asking for things well within my purview. We also deal with lots of grooms, and they ask for things without the slightest thought for being labelled a trouble maker.

I’m not saying that’s it’s OK to go around being a mega dick to people, plants or animals. That’s not cool. Be nice, be polite, but don’t apologise for existing and for asking for things from your chosen vendors. We are here to provide a product and a service, and any reputable business will try to accommodate you wherever they can. And if someone calls you a Bridezilla, pick them up, tear them in half and throw them over to the other side of town. Good day to you, name caller.

ABOUT KATE

Co-founder and creative director of Melbourne vintage furniture hire and event styling legends, Good Day Club, Kate Forsyth is an expert at stacking unstackable vintage chairs and designing the raddest, most non-traditional and fun weddings known to wo/man. Outside of running her business with husbo Dave, she parents small human Remy, plays the drums and just painted her house every colour of the rainbow.

This article was original featured in issue 34 of Rock n Roll Bride magazine, which is available to purchase here. Issue 36 is currently on sale, or you can subscribe here.