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One of life’s undeniable truths that planning a wedding is stressful. Even the most chilled out person having the most laid back wedding will probably experience a mini wobble at one point during the process. Here are eight things you can do to ensure that the manic moments are as few and far between as possible.

1. Don’t spend more than you can afford

It should go without saying really, but in this “buy now pay later” world it can be all too easy to splash just a little bit too much borrowed cash on your wedding. Money being tight doesn’t mean you can’t have a beautiful and amazing wedding, and in some ways having to cut corners and do things yourself can actually make the day just that bit more personal and special.

Worrying or arguing about money is one of the biggest reasons cited for relationship breakdowns, so please don’t start out married life with a mountain of debt and all that extra horrible stress! Having a fabulous and extravagant day is nice, but having a happy marriage is way more important!

2. Book professionals you trust

A good wedding supplier will not only help you create the most wonderful day, but they’ll also take a lot of stress out of the process. If you’re working with people who you trust implicitly, you won’t need to worry one little bit!

If you have a meeting with a supplier and get a bad vibe, feel like they might be a bit disorganised or you’re worried that you don’t really ‘get’ you and your ideas, listen to your gut and don’t work with them! Don’t worry about offending a supplier by not booking them. If they’re not the right fit you’ll only regret and stress about it later.

3. Accept help

You know all those friends and family members who offer to help? Take them up on their offers!

Sure, making a few DIY things here and there doesn’t sound that stressful but when you still have 120 individually personalised wedding favours, your custom bridesmaid bouquets and your expertly hand-crafted headpiece to finish the night before the wedding, you’ll be thinking very differently!

You are not Wonder Woman and so getting help from the people that offer it is a MUST! Just make sure you give your helpers clear instructions (they aren’t mind-readers) and do something really nice as a thank you for them afterwards. And if moments of bridezilla control freak start to creep in, don’t take it out on the people that are helping you!

4. Stop trying to please everybody

Because it is literally impossible!

If you spend the whole time trying to second guess what this person would approve of, or if you choose things because it might please that family member, you will drive yourself nuts! The sad fact of the matter is that even if you had the most traditional, people-pleasing wedding, there would still be someone that didn’t like something. As Dita said “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”

So save yourself a whole heap of stress and plan a wedding that pleases the two of you. If everyone else likes your choices too then that’s just a lovely bonus!

5. Let go of the things you can not control

Make a resolution to let go of the things you have no control over – like the weather, or if your divorced parents will cause a scene. Fretting about the ‘what ifs’ not only drives you mad, but it’s completely futile. Worrying about something doesn’t stop the fact that it may happen, it just means your mind is taken over by the possibility of it.

6. Stick to your guns

These days there is so much choice when it comes to deciding what kind of wedding you want to have… which is amazing, but it can also be totally overwhelming. Do you want pretty pink summer flowers or cool, quirky succulents? Are you going to wear a short 1950s style dress or a long, princessy one? Church or village hall? Chicken or fish? Champagne or cocktails!?

Instead of stressing yourself out by considering every single possibility, pick something you like, be happy with that decision and then make it happen! There is something so wonderfully freeing about making one choice, and letting it be. While there are a million different directions your wedding could take, if you choose things that feel authentic to the two of you, you won’t go far wrong.

Also remember that this blessed event will not define the rest of your life! It is just one day and in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter what things you choose, what dress you wear and what theme you have, as long as you marry the right person!

7. Banish the comparisonitis

Leading on from that, stop comparing your wedding to others!

It’s a really common tale. Bride’s (particularly it seems) feeling that their wedding won’t be cool enough, or unique enough, or just generally ‘good’ enough when compared to the weddings they see featured on blogs or in magazines.

Take those weddings with a pinch of salt. Use them to inspire some of the details of your own big day, but don’t look to them as a benchmark of success. Remember, you are only seeing a teeny tiny bit of the whole experience. You are only reading about the good bits and the things they loved about their wedding. It’s unlikely that they’re going to share the family dramas, or open up about the headache of dealing with a nightmare supplier. These are just their wedding highlights, so don’t look at them like a no holds barred, access all areas fly on the wall documentary!

Repeat after me:

My wedding is not a competition.

My wedding does not have to be the coolest, or the most alternative to be special.

My wedding is not a way for me to prove how awesome we are.

My wedding does not have to be the most expensive or the cheapest to be valid.

My wedding should reflect us.

My wedding will be amazing because we are amazing.

I love {name} and would marry them wearing a bin bag if it still meant we got to spend the rest of our lives together.

8. Take some time away from wedding the planning

If you’re stressing out a bit too much over the details, having a meltdown over the guest list or feeling bad about your choices because you’re looking too closely at what other people are doing… then STOP!

Close that spreadsheet, chuck the wedding magazines in the bin, and focus your energy on the person you’re marrying.

Take some time away from planning the wedding – don’t even talk about it for a while. Instead, remember what it was like before you had this mammoth task ahead of you. Reconnect with your fiancé and remind yourself why you’re doing this in the first place. After that, all the stressful extra details will begin to feel really insignificant.